Yours truly

Assamese food 1

This restaurant is certainly smaller that Paradise. The hand of the owners can be seen almost everywhere, right down to the plastic flowers and to the stylised ‘bota’ – a traditional bell metal plate on a stand – in which the bill is brought. On occation, we've seen the owners' baby on the waiters' laps! But first things first. It’s name’s Akhaj (almost impossible to translate or pronounce in English) which quite simply means ‘a meal’ in Assamese. Tucked into a by-lane on the Zoo Road (now RGB Road), it’s on your right just before the Zoo Road Tinali as you come down from Chandmari. One can park on the lane itself or in the small parking area next to the kitchen garden of the house. It’s on the second floor and a little bird tells me that the owners are on the ground floor. Obviously not intended to be used as a restaurant, I prefer to sit in what was intended to be the living room, overlooking the Zoo Road. The chairs are rattan and the tables stand on the trunk of upturned tea bushes. The boy waiters are all very friendly and terribly unprofessional. They all look as though they’ve done stints (or still do) at the owner’s house. After the mandatory glasses of water, a menu is again produced, once again to be discarded for the usual – the Sunday special lunch. If you let the gourmand in you take over, ask for the special extras – the duck ‘fry’, the elish & the pigeon curry are recommended, the rest are never available!
I discreetly took a picture once with my camera phone, which is thus of a very low resolution. However, it suffices as a guide to what you’ll get.
Step one is to set down each of the bowls on the table but be careful to define table territories first! Again, look for the kharoli to start the meal. Then progress to the omitar (green papaya) khar (I remember Aita –grandmother- would spike her’s with the fins and the tails of fish; I wish they would too). The meal progresses in much the same manner as described earlier. However, the difference is in the dishes. You will certainly get the shrimps and small fish fried with onions, a small bowl of char-grilled fish with onions, atleast one sabjee with local herbs (xhag in assamese). I’ve also had pasala (the tender innermost portion of the plantain tree), koldil (banana florets) and other long forgotten herbs and vegetables of assam here. All this is eaten with a base of rice & dal. Then one progresses to the meat – country chicken cooked in an assamese style gravy comes as part of the meal. The pigeon & duck is diced into unrecognisable small pieces and cooked in a hot fiery gravy, so it’s definitely No or MORE depending on which camp you belong to. As always, the meal ends with tenga, in this case, with two tengas; one with a piece of fish and the other with bors (fritters made with dal paste). The alu pitika (mashed potatos) mixed with onions, chillies and some mustard oil is also different. On occation, they serve a fresh mustard paste which licked with the food, is quite divine.
Tipping is optional

Assamese Food

I suppose it's only fair to start with the home cuisine available in town, which surprisingly, is not much. The hot favourite is of course the Paradise Hotel at the Silpukhuri area (which area, unfortunately, is as far from paradise as I imagine paradise to be) on the GNB Road, to traverse on which is a test of endurance and patience. I must admit that the road's finally being widened but till such time, it's become bumpier & narrower! Once inside Paradise, which is no easy task if you have to park your car (try the lane opposite), you're in a big room with tables all over. The thing is, wherever you sit, you have to thread your way past most of the tables to reach the wash room (to wash you hands). For new initiates to Assamese food, you cannot but eat it with your fingers. Alongwith hurriedly knocked-down glasses of water, harried waiters slap the menu card on the table with the full knowledge that it wont be read. After all, its the Assamese non-veg 'Thali' or nothing.The waiter lands the thali on your table with another loud clatter (all metal utensils, fortunately) and leaves you with the no uncertain impression that he wants you to eat and go, the quicker the better. The first rule of the thali is to make sure you've got all the little bowls, right down to the one with the chilly, lemon wedge and 'kharoli'.You begin with the kharoli and a little bit of rice. Next, it's the dal & rice with the sabjee(s). Then the chicken curry, again with rice. Last, and always last, the fish 'tenga', also with rice but mixed to a very soupy constituency. If I haven't mentioned the mashed potatoes its because it's had with the 'tenga'. The chilly and lemon are optional garnishings. Second helpings of only the rice and dal are on the house. You end with the sweetened curd. Satisfied customers are known to burp on their way back from the wash room (you've eaten with your fingers, remember). Tipping the waiters is not a must.
This, to my knowledge, is the oldest mainstream restaurant serving assamese food. The thali, while retaining the essentials of bland, low fat assamese food, has not been able to retain the exotic vegetables, flavours and cooking methods, possibly due to the sheer volumes. Nontheless, if you want to eat a assamese meal and happen to be in the area, it's most certainly your best bet.If however, you want a more exotic assamese meal, you'll have to wait till it's Sunday. That's when this restaurant serves their special thali and hopefully, that's when I'll get time again to write about the place. Until then.